HouseKeeping: okay so first i would like to apologize for not keeping up with this thing- but we can all relate to the fact that college keeps us extremely busy. I will try harder to keep up with this blog in the future. Second of all i would like to thank those who read and espically those who comented on my first blog- i was really surprised at the responces i got- they were all very good and everyone had great points. I only hope that i can keep sparking your thought process and maybe get intouch with your emotions as well.
This week i am going to take a short cut and post my newest Facebook Note, but I want to go into more detail about communicating first... ill try to keep it short i promise.
This past weekend i went on a Women's Retreat with the UGA Wesley. It was the most amazing thing i have experienced in a while. The speaker talked with us about the importance of having an intimate relationship with God and knowing him. It was really moving to learn that God truely cares and loves us. Knowing God takes a lot of dicipline, but it is not that hard once you make it a habit to spend time with him. It is safe to say that God really opened my eyes and heart this weekend. And i hope that you will get to experience his intensity and amazing grace soon. here is my Note- be kind please.
Background: I went on a women’s retreat with the UGA Wesley.
Words to describe this weekend: Amazing, Inspiring, Captivating, Rescuing, and Loving. I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I reached a turning point in my life and it feels so good. I spent so much of the weekend feeling vulnerable and crying- I was so week and full of pain that I could not open my heart up. After I talked with Cindy (who is the most amazing woman I have ever met EVER) I started to feel better. I verbally confessed to the Lord my wrong doing and that felt so good. It felt like I knew he really heard me. That night at worship we sang a song called “Rescue me” and I felt that song so strongly- and sang each verse with my whole heart. “I called out to you, and you rescued me, I wanna be with you” right after we sang this song. A girl went up to the front and told us about a vision the Lord had sent her. Her vision was a girl lying naked in a bed trying so hard to reach for this dirty grimy cloth that was just so gross, and covering herself with it. Then she said that whoever you are God wants you to give him your sin, and stop holding on to it because he is going to take care of you. This broke me in so many ways. It made me feel so good. My heart rose for the bottom and became whole again. God had answered my prayers instantly. Later on after worship we had a one on one prayer session and I talked with another amazing woman. She prayed over me about things, and I could just feel my body becoming warm and whole again. She told me that God was showing her an image of a flower and saying that he sees me as a beautiful flower and a wonderful fragrance, that God wants to be my gardener and caretaker- he wants to nurse me back to health.
If you do not know me very well these words may not seem as meaningful to you. But they are my life. They are my redemption. They are what makes me feel so happy, so light, so FREE. God forgives, God loves, God makes whole what wasn’t holy before. The eyes of my heart are turned to Jesus for good. I no longer wish to stray. I want to make right what is wrong. I am healed, healing, and a healer. I know that God has so much in store for me and I am so excited to find out what it is. I feel like I am climbing out of my hole, I am coming out to feel the warmth, and love, and safety that God has to offer. I sacrifice my life to him.
God here is my heart and my whole heart. I will obey your wishes. I want to spread your word and your love. Let your light shine through me even brighter than before. I no longer want to submit myself to the enemy. I want to walk in your ways. Lord give me the strength I need. Thank you for my life, thank you for being in my life, thank you for showing me my life again. You are truly amazing.
-- Okay I'd like to explain a little more... For the longest time i did not communicate with God, I did not trust him- Do not get me wrong i still went to church, i read the bible, i talked with people about my faith but i did not even believe myself half the time. I learned this weekend that communication is key not only with your relationship with God but in any relationship. If we do not communicate then things are not said that need to be said, feelings are not claimed, and hearts are not mended. Communication is key to everything in society.
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That sounds like an awesome retreat you went on. Reading your blog made me think about my life and what I have been learning about the Lord for the past couple of years. I feel like I have messed up so much over the past couple years, but the one thing that has remained constant is the Lord’s faithfulness. He always allows me to come back to Him. You know, Christ came for the sinner, for the broken, for everyone who realizes that they cannot do life on their own. My fiancée gave me this really good analogy: “You have to get naked before you can step into the shower to get clean”…All the Lord wants is us, mistakes and all. I loved hearing you talking about how free you felt after having such a sweet time with the Lord, because that the gift of peace that He gives Galations 5:1 “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.´´ - The Lord wants us to live in freedom!
Press on! You have so much potential and I’m excited about what He’s going to do in your life. I’m not sure if this verse was in your blog or someone else’s but I want to encourage you with this verse that I really dove into a while ago, John 17:3 ““And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. ’ – knowing God (not just knowing about Him but knowing Him) is the greatest thing we can ever do and the thing we will be doing into eternity. Eternal Life is right now!! Knowing the Lord is eternal life! How cool!
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